The very thing Stephanie Meyer should have kept inside of HER can now be kept inside of YOU!Sorry for all these Twilight posts but this is hilarious. Tantus, Incorporated, everyone's favourite sex toy emporium, has released the perfect gift for the Twihard in your life. It's called The Vamp (link NSFW) and it's got just about everything. Some awesome quotes from the description:
- Yes the The Vamp retains hot and cold temperature. Toss it in the fridge for that authentic experience. ["Your skin is ice cold..."]
- We promise this vamp won't be the only thing coming for you in the night.
- with a deathly pale flesh tone reminiscent of the new moon's glow.
- don't save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle. [Is this good advice?]
- reminiscent of the new moon's glow... calling to you in the twilight... Don't let this eclipse pass into the breaking dawn, place your order today. [I guess mormon author Stephanie Meyer didn't give Tantus Inc. official authorization]
Personally I'm holding out for Chan-Wook Park's Thirst fleshlight. It's shaped like a foot.
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